It’s natural for parents to be concerned about the safety of their teens. Here we explore a range of issues you should address or consider if you have an autistic teen.
It can be helpful to notify your police department that you have an autistic teen in your home. Call your police department and ask if they have any identification programs for vulnerable residents such as autistic teens. If they do, take time to go down to the precinct, if possible with your teen, and register them. If they don’t have a formal way to register, ask if you can bring your teen to meet with a police officer. Tour the police station to make them more comfortable with what an officer might look like if they are approached.
Create a simple self-disclosure card that your teen always carries with them when they are out in the community. The card should share their disability and your contact information in case they ever wander off or if they are stopped by a police officer. This Emergency Contact Form from Able2Learn may be a useful template.
You can also post a sign or decal near your front door indicating that an autistic person lives in your home and in the passenger side car door where your teen would be sitting. For teens who are more impacted, you can attach it to their seatbelt or their shoelaces.
Outside and in the Community
Discuss with your teen what to do if they get lost in a store or out in the community using a social story or picture chart if helpful. Agree on where your teen should go if they get lost. You might call it meeting at the safety spot. Is it at the front of the store? Near the customer service desk?
Make it clear who your teen can leave with, who their safe people are. Depending on your teen’s needs, a social story or visual with pictures of safe people can be helpful. Mix in photos of some strangers to test that your teen understands. Include your physical therapist and others who can spend time with them, touch them (but clear on what is appropriate touching for that role). Use it to explain layers of safety: “These are safe people in this setting. Your physical therapist sees you in their physical therapy (P.T.) center or your home but is not allowed to pick you up at school and take you anywhere.” Who is allowed to pick them up at school? Make sure they understand getting in the right car with the right safe person.
Teach your teen parking lot safety such as understanding that cars are backing out and may not see you. Autistic teens may not understand the dangers of cars moving in and out of parking spaces. Using the lines in a parking lot may help your teen note when to stop and look before crossing. They may experience sensory challenges of the sounds of car engines running, honking of horns, motorcycles revving and sirens feeling much louder to them than to you. They may want to move quickly away from the sounds.
Help your teen learn to cross the street safely. Watch them doing it independently a few times in different situations to make sure they fully understand what to be careful of. The Organization for Autism Research Guide to Safety includes helpful tips for teaching skills like this.
Share with teachers or interventionist issues you’re working on including anything that involves safety, how you and your teen are learning what might set off a meltdown coming on and how you address it at home.
Make sure your teen learns at the start of each school year what the school rules are including being clear on what to do if they need to leave the classroom to go to the bathroom. Many high schools have a security or police officer on site watching the hallways to protect students or staff. Make sure your teen understands and expects this officer may approach them and that they are safe (since they are likely to be in uniform).
If an issue is a priority to you, you can request it be addressed in their Individualized Education Program (IEP). The IEP isn’t solely for education, it is also for anything that prepares your child for the real world. For example, requesting to go to the bathroom, teaching who they can go home with if allowed to leave school without supervision and school bus safety. You can find more information in this Education article about IEPs in the Milestones Autism Planning (MAP) Tool.
Friendship and Risk of Bullying and Being Taken Advantage of
Autistic teens can find it challenging to understand what a friend versus an acquaintance is and who is a safe person they can trust in which ways. You might help them think about it as if they felt scared or down, who could they trust? Who is supportive and makes them feel happy?
Autistic teens are at risk of being teased, bullied or taken advantage of for their things, money or to try to get them to do something such as doing the homework or writing a paper for the “friend.” This Friendship article in the MAP has more information and tips to handle these situations.
Learning to advocate for themselves is important. Teens may face discrimination from other kids or from adults, such as judging them and not seeing them as a person with feelings and great potential. Autistic teens are more likely to be too compliant, too likely to easily say yes to things without thinking about whether it was OK for someone to ask them to do something or whether they really want to do it. They may be very agreeable to whatever another teen asks them to do because they think this person is their friend.
Additional Resources on Bullying
An Autism Perspective on Bullying: Creating a Culture of Acceptance
Children's Safety Network Bullying Prevention Resource Guide
Bullying Legal Rights from the Milestones Legal Tool Kit
Phones, Devices and Internet Safety
Discuss how to use their cell phones safely including how to text appropriately, who it is OK to text with and what information is OK or not to text. Ensure that your teen knows how to use their phone to make a call including to emergency numbers (and what makes an emergency) as well as important people in their life.
Teach your teen ways to use their cell phone and devices for safety, building organizational skills, scheduling and preparing for things. For example they can text you so you’ll know where they are, they can set alarms, set up schedules, watch a video or look at a social story on their device before doing something.
Discuss internet safety, increasing the level of issues you gradually raise including:
- What is OK to share online.
- What kinds of websites they visit or information they google or share.
- Avoiding scams, phishing emails or texts. Use examples like an email saying it’s about your Amazon order or bank account but it’s a trick email sent with the goal of getting your account number or social security number.
- Avoid extra fees that pop up during a video or app game.
- Understanding the danger of social media, emails and texts aimed at taking advantage of someone sexually, especially of girls. Never give personal information like your name, address or school name to anyone you do not know. Never meet someone you do not know.
Wandering and solutions
Depending on their developmental stage, some teens may still be at risk for wandering. Families may worry that their teen may wander from home or away from you when you are out. A useful free resource is the Big Red Safety Box from The National Autism Association (NAA). This toolkit, given to autism families in need, is designed to educate, raise awareness and provide simple tools that can assist you in preventing, and responding to, wandering-related emergencies. NAA’s Big Red Safety Box includes identification materials like a bracelet or shoe ID, helpful documents for emergency planning, wandering prevention tools including door and window alarms, visuals for your home and much more. You can also put up a sign on all doors from the inside to tell your teen -- "STOP. Do not leave the house without Mom/Dad/sibling!" Or "Tell Mom/Dad/sibling, I want to go out."
Pool and Water Safety
Teach your teen how to swim. If traditional swimming lessons aren’t right for your teen, explore adaptive swimming lessons designed for people with special needs. Call the Milestones free autism Helpdesk for recommendations.
If you have a pool at your house it needs a locked fence, pool alarm and pool cover.
Discuss water safety and be clear about your rules about water. Depending on their level of functioning and ability to swim and understand water safety you may not want them to go to water without you or whoever else you choose. A social story with photos that explains safety can be useful. Autistic teens may think literally so don’t assume they apply one situation to another or that they will truly understand safety when intrigued by the water.
For teens who are more impacted, think about their level of swimming skills and their understanding of safety.
- Never leave teens who do not have strong swimming skills unattended by the water until they are able to handle themselves and make decisions about their own safety.
- Ensure you have a chime or alarm activated on each door of your house.
Additional Resources
6 Tips to Prevent Wandering for Children on the Autism Spectrum by Holly Reimann
