Straight From the Source - How to Survive the Holidays as an Adult on the Spectrum
Posted on 11/29/17 in School by Milestones
Some of my greatest memories are holiday-related. For example, the Christmas of 1982 when Santa placed under our tree a stuffed prairie dog-Prairie Pup. My new special interest quickly became prairie dogs for the next eight years. Prairie Pup and I were inseparable, until I began middle school and Prairie Pup became the first prairie dog to be expelled from the Oakland County Schools. The special education teachers informed my parents, “Your son is too old to be carrying a love-worn prairie dog, desperately needing Rogaine.”
During the holidays, I have experienced meltdowns and stress. When I was seven years old, my Christmas gift was an army outfit, equipped with a toy machine gun, walkie-talkies, and binoculars. After a few days, the trigger on the machine gun broke. My parents did not send it back to the North Pole for repairs but instead returned it to Sears for a new set. The new army set was complete except for one small detail -the binoculars were a different style, a 1940’s design compared to modern. When I saw the new binoculars in the box-the former ones missing-my emotions erupted. I began hitting my head relentlessly, smashing everything in my path. My meltdown lasted ten straight hours; it only ceased after my parents went back to Sears and found my original binoculars.
Luckily for my family and friends I have learned five survival techniques for the holidays I think all individuals on the spectrum should consider trying.
1.) Reduce stress by dressing comfortably for holiday events. During the holidays, I enjoy wearing my Frosty the Snowman pajamas and Star Wars T-shirts. These clothes help my sensory issues stay balanced and cause me to feel calm.
2.) Be prepared for the environment of holiday events. My dad has severe asthma. If the family hosting an event has a dog or cat, my dad will politely ask them to keep the pet in another room to prevent him from having an asthma attack. I have sensory issues to smoke, so like my father, I have to plan ahead to avoid what could affect me. So I won’t attend any holiday events where people will be smoking.
3.) Know who to avoid at holiday events. Certain family members can be annoying and rude especially for us on the spectrum. The aunt who has a funky body odor and loves to give you a big hug. Your uncle who asks more questions than an inquisition. These family members can add stress to your holiday so minimize your time with them if you need to.
4.) Bring a fun bag that helps relieve anxiety. My fun backpack contains books and toys. When I become bored or overwhelmed by the noise of the nieces and nephews playing, I sneak off and read a book.
5.) Always have an escape route. At my parents’ house, I have a man cave with over 4,000 books and a Calico Critter collection. When I feel stressed out, I hide in my cave. The escape route for you could be going for a walk outside or a room away from the guests.
Ron Sandison is the founder of Spectrum Inclusion and is employed in the mental health field. He is the author of A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom, published by Charisma House. Sandison speaks at over 70 events a year including 20 conferences. Ron and his wife, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with a daughter, Makayla.