Life & Social Skills

Life & Social Skills

Ages: 14 - 17

Encouraging Teens to Find Fulfilling Activities and Interests

Encouraging Teens to Find Fulfilling Activities and Interests

Leisure skills are what you do with your free time, both at home and in the community. For teens, learning recreation skills and figuring out which activities and hobbies they like plants the seeds for having a fulfilling life as an adult.

As an adult, no one is going to be there to structure their time, reminding them what to do when. We want to empower our teens now to learn these skills so as an adult they’re filling their day with things they enjoy and learn from, and have opportunities to connect with others.

Your teen doing activities independently gives you the parent or guardian free time to get things done. It also helps your teen figure out what brings them joy.

Picking Activities and Encouraging Their Interests

Depending on their level of functioning, as teens enter middle school and high school, finding hobbies, activities and relationships with other teens to whatever degree that is right for them helps prepare them for the transition to adulthood.

Encourage their interests. Give opportunities for activities and see what they gravitate to so you and your teen learn what really interests them. Allow them to sample activities so you know what is and is not of interest without being obligated to long term classes. Revisit things at different ages as they may like things they didn’t have interest in at an earlier time.

Not everyone has access to a variety of activities, the time or ability to pay for them. There are activities you can do at home on the weekend or when you’re not working. For example, doing an art project, playing games like Clue, Monopoly or Apples to Apples, or puzzles. Get exercise in the backyard.

Visit different parks or trails for outdoor walks looking for birds or other sights. There are activities you can do without materials, such as the game "I Spy". You say "I spy" something you see that the other players have to identify. For example, you say "I spy a blue circle" and your teen might say "It's a blue ball." You could sing songs, dance to your song or to music you play. Or play a catch game where you pick a category like fruit and each time you throw the ball you name a new fruit.

Be aware that preferences as a person (i.e. drawn to music) vs autism preferences (which tend to be most rigid) are both at play and should be honored.

Do not push your teen into outdoor activities like sports if that is not their interest. Being outdoors can pose unique challenges for sensory issues like sounds, smells and insects buzzing, flying and crawling.

Know that parent vs. teen’s interests can be very different. If you loved to do a particular activity as a teen it can feel so satisfying to imagine your teen doing so, but consider whether it suits their interests and needs.

Daily Schedule and Breaks

Help your teen learn how to manage their own schedule, from when they wake up to how the day flows into evening and bedtime, especially as they make each school year transition. Guide them to think about allowing enough time to

  • Get ready for school independently
  • Before and after school activities and therapy appointments
  • Homework and studying
  • Taking a break
  • Planning their evening so they get enough sleep.

Before the beginning of each school year, consider if they are being realistic about what they can handle. Have they allowed enough time for each of the important areas of their life - school, homework, therapy, social/friendship opportunities, relaxation, sleep.

If they will be college bound, think about whether they will need time in high school for college entrance exams if the colleges they apply to require the SAT or ACT. This will depend on which schools they are interested in, as more schools are not requiring tests for admittance.

Completing college applications can be time consuming as well, ranging from very simple to much more complex with an essay required. The Milestones Post-Secondary/College Tool Kit features information for selecting a college, preparing for the transition and potential disability accommodations.

Leave room for "typical" teen activities, such as attending Friday night football games or other sporting events, visiting a popular hangout or going to the mall if they are willing to go. It might help make them feel part of their school community.

For some teens it’s helpful to have a visual schedule on an iPhone, a wipe off board, or a piece of paper. It gives them a sense of a routine, what to anticipate, and a way to be able to fit in different activities such as homework and choice time when they can pick what they want to do. It breaks down their schedule rather than an endless power struggle of vast amounts of open time. The Milestones Visual Support Tool Kit provides tips and advice.

Think about timing and how you manage activities for your neurotypical child vs. autistic teen. It can be challenging to give them each time. Of course you can use their neurotypical siblings and other family members to hang out with and help with skill building for your autistic teen, but keep in mind how that may affect them.

Doing activities by themselves builds independent interests and may be easier for your teen and schedule than group activities. It provides an alternative to the TV or iPad/tablet. Social interactions with group activities are so important but people also need to be able to do activities independently. Balance that group versus independent activity to what will work best for your child and family.

Help your teen identify when they're getting overwhelmed and coping strategies, so they build that self-awareness. Teach them to ask for help when something is difficult.

Preparation, Enrichment and Goals

Build self awareness for what may cause a meltdown such as overscheduling, and what your teen needs to help them manage sensory issues that may be triggers. Two self-advocates share strategies they use to manage their sensory challenges here including light, sound and smell starting with assessing your needs. Also visit the managing sensory issues article in the Milestones Autism Planning (MAP) Tool for more information.

Autistic people often struggle with or at least don’t seek out new activities. New can be challenging. Prepare your teen for new activities and experiences for what to expect, using approaches suited to their age and stage like social stories, online videos or just talking it through.

Take an interest in your teen’s activities and learn about your teen’s interests. Watch for what is most interesting about the activity such as drawing certain types of pictures, playing a favorite app or game with your teen.

Help your teen work on skills by doing things together, such as fun activities, cooking or baking for learning.

How can you use your teen’s preferences, interests and strengths to build other skills you want them to learn? Are there opportunities for social skill or other goals you have? For example, use super hero characters, anime or Mario video game stories or Tik Tok videos to teach about how to talk with a friend or how to help a friend. Use their interest to help teach challenging subjects or to direct them to their next activity. For example use an image taped onto something that can stand on the table that says "Mario says it is time to do your math homework."

Additional Resources

Afterschool Activites & Independent Leisure Skills Tool Kit

Camp, Social & Recreation Tool Kit

Visual Supports Tool Kit

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