Life & Social Skills

Life & Social Skills

Ages: 14 - 17

Safety Strategies at Home for Teens and Emergency Planning

Safety Strategies at Home for Teens and Emergency Planning

Kitchen Safety Rules and Strategies

Depending on their age and stage, autistic teens may be at different levels of handling tasks like using the microwave or oven. Before letting your autistic teen heat food in the microwave, make sure they understand what can and can’t go in the microwave and train and watch them using it properly.

If older siblings are using a skill like microwaving, they are modeling for the younger teen, whether intentionally or not. Give concrete rules that one sibling can use the oven but the other can’t. Be careful when assessing skills for different siblings that are and are not autistic. Make sure it is clear to your teen who is allowed to use the stove or microwave. For example you might say your autistic teen cannot but your younger neurotypical child can. It should be about skill/stage/safety. Be clear about expectations.

Help Learning Important Safety Information

Practice what to do if there is a fire. Teach your teen to stay low, leave the house quickly with your family and go to your agreed upon location outside your house so everyone knows you are out of the house safely. Call 911. DO NOT be afraid of fire fighters in equipment coming into the house.

Make sure your teen knows their phone number, address, your first and last name, and Mom, Dad or guardian’s actual name. If your teen can’t reliably communicate this information, whenever you go out your teen needs to have some form of ID, a laminated card or an electronic device that has your information on it. This way if you somehow get separated or they wander off someone can help.

You can create a simple self-disclosure card that your loved one always carries with them when they are out in the community. The card should share their disability and your contact information in case they ever wander off or if they are stopped by a police officer. This Emergency Contact Form from Able2Learn may be a useful template.

If they have a state ID (check whether your state offers them for your teen’s age), you can add that they are autistic and any other comments on the back.

Be sure you have a recent photo of your teen on your phone that you update regularly just in case you need it. If you go to an out of the ordinary, bigger crowded place, you could take a photo of your teen right there so you have what they’re wearing and how they look in that setting.

Create a safety plan at home in the event a loved one (caregiver) gets sick and the individual is there - do they call 911, get a neighbor?

Self-Care and Self-Advocacy

It’s important for your teen to know how to state their preferences.

While we want our teens to learn and do the things we want them to, it is important for autistic teens to know it is OK to say no to something that they do not want to do or that is uncomfortable for them. Especially for autistic teens we want to be careful to not inadvertently imply they must say yes or be too compliant, putting them at risk for victimization or bullying.

Discuss the concept that their body is their own and about body safety and private touching. That no one has the right to touch your body without your permission. As part of that, let your teen know it is OK to say no to a hug or kiss including to a relative, just to be polite about it. Share how a doctor, nurse or therapist might touch you and what is appropriate.

Learning that masturbation is a natural part of sexuality but should be done in the right place (in private) is important to avoid a situation that puts your child at risk.

Toilet training, wiping themselves and independent bathing reduce their risk of victimization. So if your teen is still learning basic hygiene talk to their pediatrician, therapist, and/or contact the Milestones free autism Helpdesk for assistance. This hygiene article in the Milestones Autism Planning (MAP) Tool and Milestones Toilet Training Tool Kit offer information and tips. We will be adding articles about puberty, sexuality and dating to the Milestones Autism Planning (MAP) Tool later in 2022.

Learning How to Be at Home Alone

It’s scary to think about leaving your autistic teen alone, but it’s important to build whatever level of independence your teen is ready for.

If you leave your teen alone, what does that look like? You can use pictures with a symbol like a big red x on anything you don’t want them to touch like the stove.

Plan for what your teen should do in case of an emergency. Call you on your cell phone and if they can’t reach you call one or two people you name who know they are your back ups? When would they need to call 911? Make sure they know how to call police or 911 and when it’s appropriate to do that.

If someone calls, should they answer their phone? If they ask if their Mom or Dad is home, what do they say? This may be different if you have a household phone or it is their cell phone. If they will be answering the phone, teach them how to recognize spam phone calls.

Be clear with rules and safety you tell your teen such as

  • Do not leave the house while you are alone.
  • No cooking when you are alone.
  • Do not use or touch the stove. Do not put foil in the microwave.
  • Do not walk near the front door or windows (if your teen would be easy to see by someone outside or at the front door).
  • Do not come to or open the front door even if someone comes to the door.
  • Never let someone come into the house unless it is someone I told you to let in which I will let you know by _________________. (Use a way that is very clear for your teen to understand who and how to know. For example having that person like Grandma text to let your teen know that they are there and that your teen should come to the door.)

Using a social story with photos that you could have on a ring that they can flip through could be helpful. The Milestones Visual Supports Tool Kit provides tips and information, and the Milestones Helpdesk is here for you as well.

Steps you could take before trying it the first time:

  • Consider setting up video in your home and a video doorbell. Potential useful products include Google Nest, placing Google Home near your kitchen to test for smoke. Make sure you have reliable smoke and carbon monoxide alarms.
  • Set up chimes on your windows and doors.
  • Get to know your neighborhood and go with your teen to meet your neighbors. That way if something happens they know your teen and your teen knows them over time.

Each time, before you leave your teen alone write down what time you will be back. Be careful what you tell them. If you say you are going out for one hour, they may take it literally to mean one hour and worry if you’re not back by then.

Testing Them at First

When you first leave your teen alone test them to make sure that they’re really following safety rules. Walk down the street like you’ve left the house then quietly come back and knock on the door or ring the door bell to test they your teen won’t open the door.

Start with leaving them alone a very short amount of time and gradually increase it based on how they did.

Not everyone has back up like a family and friends support system, and money to afford video cameras and other equipment. Costs may be covered as part of your teen’s safety plan. Depending on your local developmental disabilities agency, the cost may be paid for by your teen’s waiver. The Milestones Helpdesk can help guide you.

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