Child Proofing
Child proof with safety locks and devices until you know your child is at the right age and stage and you are certain they understand what to do and not do. Make sure any safety lock doesn’t prevent them from leaving a room in case of fire.
Set up a door alarm for all exterior doors so you are alerted if your child tries to leave the house when you’re not looking.
Pay special attention to potential danger zones like the oven and fireplace. In addition to child proofing them, discuss their danger using picture cards, saying, “Ow, hot!” and putting a stop sign symbol near it.
Be sure to store medications as well as cleaners and anything else toxic in a secure, safely locked location away from where children are. A medication safe with a combination is ideal. Pay special attention to toxic items like dishwasher or laundry detergent pods that could look like candy to a child.
Emergency Planning
Make an emergency safety and medical plan for if your home isn’t safe or you need care because of natural disasters, unhealthy relationships or other crises. Work with your Individualized Education Program (IEP) team, private providers or other supports to come up with your “What if” plan. This might include a plan to get prescribed medication for more than 30 days or designate a safe place to go if your home isn’t safe. Here’s an example of a checklist when creating an emergency plan for individuls with disabilities.
For help with concerns about unhealthy relationships, contact your area’s domestic violence hotline (look up the number on your phone or computer), or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). You may also call your primary care physician and ask to speak with a social worker, or talk with your child’s developmental disability services provider.
Safety Rules and Strategies
Have clear and consistent rules. For example if you give your 5 year old child a task like microwaving food, make sure they really understand what can and can’t go in the microwave. Train and watch them using it properly. A typical challenge we hear about is a child putting a Pop-Tart in the toaster for too long which can quickly cause a fire.
If older siblings are using a skill like microwaving, they are modeling for the younger child, whether intentionally or not. Give concrete rules that one sibling can use the oven but the other can’t. Be careful when assessing skills for different siblings that are neurotypical vs autistic.
Make sure it is clear to your child who is allowed to use the stove, microwave and other appliances. For example you might say your older autistic child cannot but your younger neurotypical child can. It should be about skill/stage/safety. Be clear about expectations.
Practice what to do if there is a fire. Teach your child to stay low, leave the house quickly with your family and go to your agreed upon location outside your house so everyone knows you are out of the house safely. Call 911. Do not be afraid of the fire fighter in equipment coming into the house.
Ultimately your child will need to know their phone number, address, their first and last name, and Mom and Dad’s actual name. When your child is young the first step is learning they have a last name and that Mom, Dad or guardian have a first and last name. Gradually build up the other knowledge as you can.
In the meanwhile, if your child can’t reliably communicate this information, whenever you go out your child needs to have some form of ID, a laminated card or an electronic device that has your information on it so if you somehow get separated or they wander off someone can help.
Keep a recent photo of your child on your phone that you update regularly. If you go somewhere that is larger and more crowded, you could take a photo of your child right there so you have what they’re wearing and how they look in that setting.
Create a safety plan at home in the event you or a caregiver gets sick and your child is there - do they call 911, get a neighbor?
Self-Care and Self-Advocacy
Start encouraging your child to learn basic hygiene as early as possible. Start with simpler tasks like combing their hair, soaping themselves in the bathtub, bathing and wiping themself with the washcloth even if you have to go back and do it again. If you do everything for your child it will be challenging for them to learn what they need to do to take care of themselves.
Potty training, wiping themselves and independent bathing will also reduce their risk of victimization later. The hygiene article in the Milestones Autism Planning (MAP) Tool and the Milestones Toilet Training Tool Kit have more information.
While we want our children to learn and do the things we want them to, it is important for our children to know it is OK to say no to something that they do not want to do or that is uncomfortable for them. Especially for autistic children we want to be careful to not inadvertently imply they must say yes or be too compliant, putting them at risk for victimization or bullying.
As your child reaches preschool age, you can start introducing the concept that their body is their own and about body safety and private touching. As part of that, let your child know it is OK to say no to a hug or kiss including to a relative, just to be polite about it.
