Learning social communication skills is important to allow your child to express what they want and need and as the building block to relationships. Communication can look different for each child. Autistic people often start speaking later than neurotypical children, and when they speak they may be more literal in how they express their thoughts.

There are lots of ways we communicate as humans. Nonverbal expressions like pointing at something they want, shaking their head yes or no, or having a meltdown can be ways to share what they’re feeling. Assistive technology, communication devices or simple sign language can be helpful tools for autistic children who are nonverbal or limited verbal ability to communicate.

We believe everyone needs to have a method of communication. Without communication the result is frustration and challenging behaviors. Behavior is communication.

It can feel overwhelming to help your child learn the basics of social communication, but evidence-based strategies and tools can help. Speech Language Therapy, structured social skills groups and other therapy approaches can be used to gradually teach children communication skills. Your school system may be able to help and you can include these goals in your child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP).

Be open to different types of people including those who have different ways of communicating. Your child’s communication will not be negatively impacted by being around children who do not have communication skills on the same level as theirs. They will still learn in different ways such as empathy and leadership. It is part of teaching your children to be welcoming and open to people who are different from them, and how each person is unique and special.

For parents of children who are more impacted, it’s important for them to have the opportunity to have friends, to be with people and build their skills. Reflect on your own views as a parent and how you can learn and grow.

Tips to Help Your School Aged Child Learn Social Communication

Start social skills/social communication therapy with a speech therapist, psychologist, or social worker who works with autistic children. Social skills groups give children the opportunity to practice. Speech therapists may specialize in functional communication, which are practical skills like learning how to have a conversation, versus sound and speech production. The Milestones free autism Helpdesk can connect you to these therapists.

Get help with social communication skills as part of your child’s public school education by including these skills in your child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) as appropriate. This Education article in the Milestones Autism Planning (MAP) Tool has more information on IEPs.

Some families may not be able to access all these kinds of therapies for a variety of reasons. But there are many other ways to work toward goals for your child. The Milestones Helpdesk can share ideas and connect you with resources.

If English is not your primary language, in school and medical settings you can request an interpreter. Your private insurance may have interpreters for therapy appointments. You can also ask if a professional speaks that language.

You can coach your family and friends to work on communication skills with your autistic child.

As you go about daily routines, involve your child and ask them questions like, "What comes next?" "What should we take with us for our walk or picnic?" "What would you like to do this weekend?" Use everyday opportunities to prompt discussions that give them conversation practice.

Connect with other parents who have been there and can share their experiences. Milestones is here to support you and can help you find resources.

Role playing is very helpful in giving your child the opportunity to practice having a conversation. Family members may be helpful in doing this with your child.

You can use a label maker to label different common items you want them to learn. This can help expand their vocabulary and communication skills for asking for things. You can also label items with painter’s tape, Post-Its or anything that sticks!

Finding Activities to Practice Social Skills

Look for activities related to your child’s interests. For example if they like to draw pictures, an art class with other children. It can be difficult to push a child to do something they are not interested in or if there are barriers that make it hard for them to participate.

Keep in mind your child’s challenges including sensory issues when considering different activities or therapies. Look for opportunities open to or geared to children with special needs and speak with the leader.

Over time children develop and change at their own pace, so what they need evolves as do the kind of providers, activities and interests that will engage them and help them grow.

The Leisure Skills article in the MAP will also give you tips for finding activities that may provide social skill communication opportunities.

Additional Resources

Milestones Autism Resources Social Communication web page