Handling or better yet preventing inappropriate behaviors can feel overwhelming when you’re trying to get through the day and help your loved one. While we know our autistic loved ones may struggle with communication, sensory issues, transitions and changes in routine, we know it can be difficult to deal with challenging behavior.

Understanding Meltdowns

Understanding the sensory issues that cause autistic people to experience higher intensity sound, touch, light/seeing, smell or taste can help you watch for what may set off a meltdown. A meltdown is an overwhelming emotional outburst and behaviors caused by an inability to communicate. It comes from a person's inability to self-regulate, which means the ability to handle emotions and behaviors in a given situation. A meltdown happens when someone has been over-stimulated, often with one or more of their senses intensely overloaded. The person is too burnt out to keep going.

Everyone needs a way to communicate and share their feelings and needs. Many autistic people have challenges communicating and expressing their needs. They tend to be more literal in how they express their thoughts.

For those who are nonverbal, they may use gestures like pointing at something they want, shaking their head yes or no, or when those gestures fail, they may have a meltdown as a way to share what they’re feeling.

People may express frustration in different ways when they can’t communicate it clearly. We outline here a process and strategies you can use along with seeking support from the Milestones free autism Helpdesk and professionals.

The Process

First, focus on what happens right before the behavior. This is your clue as to why they are behaving that way. And a first step to figuring out what to do to change that behavior.

Watch your loved one at home or in the setting they live in and ask their therapist or caregivers what is happening when they are with your loved one. Are there changes in routine, interactions with people or things happening at certain times or places? Is the behavior you’re concerned about happening in those other settings with other people?

Check for a Medical or Dental Cause

Talk to your loved one's doctor or dentist to see if a medical condition may be contributing. For example, covering their mouth because of a toothache or covering their ears because they have ear pain from an ear infection. Are there dietary or GI (gastrointestinal) issues that could be contributing? The Co-existing Conditions page provides more information about various physical and mental health conditions.

Once a medical reason has been ruled out, you will want to figure out the reason for the behavior.

Different Strategies for Different Situations

Rule out the most obvious issues like sensory or medical before thinking about how to respond to the behaviors

Give them different choices to give them a sense of control and to learn to make decisions. Or if there are things you need to do, offer them a choice of what order you will do them if you have that flexibility.

If their behavior is to gain attention, teach appropriate ways to get attention, and ignore them when they’re trying to get your attention inappropriately.

Try to replace the behavior with something more appropriate.

Getting Help from Your Board of Developmental Disabilities

If your loved one is eligible to get support through your Board of Developmental Disabilities, talk to your support case manager to access potential services like behavioral and mental health. Other types of professionals such as occupational therapists may be helpful as well. There are Medicaid waivers in some states that may pay for these services, but it depends on your eligibility and what is offered in your state.

If they're demonstrating significantly dangerous or harmful behaviors, it might be time to talk with your case manager about more intensive supports or residential care.

Contact the Milestones Helpdesk for information or book an Individual or Family Consultation to help you make a customized action plan based on your unique needs.