Offering your child choices serves as an early opportunity to build self-advocacy. Ask if they want to do this or that, but only give a couple of choices. Then as your child gets older, builds mastery and makes acceptable choices, you can give them more freedom in making choices.
Give opportunities for your child to state their preferences such as, “I like this,” “I don’t like that” (within reason). It is important in empowering them early and acknowledging your child’s right to have preferences. A child can share a yes or no without using spoken language. For example, a child may turn their hand away or shove with their hands.
Explore ways to teach your child advocacy skills while doing everyday things such as when playing games. If your child misses their turn you could teach them to say, "Hey, it is my turn now!" for example.
Give labels to the feelings your child is having such as, “I see you’re upset right now.” It gives your child the feeling that they are accepted, and their perspective understood by others. Ask questions that encourage them to share more but respect when they do not want to. Turn to a therapist or contact the Milestones free autism Helpdesk if you are concerned your child is struggling and needs help or you are seeking more strategies.
As your child grows older, it is important for them to learn how to ask for help when something is difficult. They need to know it is OK to say no to something that they do not want to do or that is uncomfortable for them. Especially for autistic kids, we want to be careful to not inadvertently imply they must say yes or be too compliant, putting them at risk for victimization or bullying.
As you weigh the different life skills, therapies, and other things you want your child to learn, balance that with play and taking breaks. As they enter preschool and then kindergarten they have more of their day scheduled and spent interacting with other children yet are still learning through play. Help them learn how to take a break, and share when they need help or feel overwhelmed.
